It’s true that some babies may have unique features that aren’t conventionally considered cute. Just like my own baby, who happened to have a less conventionally appealing appearance. And that’s perfectly fine. It’s important to be discreet and avoid sharing such observations with others, especially if it’s not your own baby or if it could potentially hurt the parents. Nevertheless, as someone who can appreciate beauty, you can discern when a baby doesn’t fit the traditional mold of cuteness.
My first son was incredibly adorable when he was born. He was absolutely perfect, with a head full of golden straw-colored hair, and he looked scrumptious and flawless. Maybe it was the nutrition or perhaps the relaxing pregnancy massages, but I thought to myself, “Oh, newborns are so beautiful. I could have ten of these.”
Then my second son was born. Well, he really did resemble a crumpled crab. His ears were folded over, his head seemed cone-shaped, and he was quite swollen. He appeared purple and bruised, as if he had been in a tough brawl. Let’s face it, he was NOT GOOD-LOOKING—my baby was genuinely ugly!
However, that didn’t mean I didn’t love him; I adored him. The birth process isn’t gentle on newborns.
The thing is, most newborn babies resemble tiny wrinkled creatures—maybe like old men, monkeys, or sentient cabbages. It often takes a few months for them to transform from squished-up little goblins into cute, smiling little bundles. Hollywood has probably raised our expectations of what a newborn baby should look like.
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My Baby Was Really Ugly
I nearly spat my coffee out. I was so shocked that someone would say that out loud, even though ɱaпy of us are guilty of thinking these things. The women in the cafe who overheard the conversation were giving my friend disapproving looks.
Two weeks later, I had the chance to meet the baby for the first ᴛι̇ɱe. Calling the baby the “ugliest baby I’ve ever seen” would be an understatement. I had never seen anything quite like it that wasn’t from a CGI horror movie. To this day, I’ve never encountered another baby with that level of ‘baby acne.’ However, beauty is definitely subjective, and the mother was absolutely enamored with her newborn bundle, and rightfully so. I had the opportunity to hold the baby, who still had that perfect newborn scent, made adorable little newborn noises, and had the cutest little fingers and toes.
Remember the story about the ugly duckling that turned into a swan? Well, that child is 13 now and is, like, modeling these days.
My Baby Was Really Ugly
At least my friend didn’t say anything to our other friend, even though she made me incredibly uncomfortable when she initiated the conversation.
The internet is full of forums where people are quick to declare someone, usually a mother-in-law, but maybe a friend or some rude stranger, has decided to express their opinion that someone’s baby isn’t the most attractive.
I have another friend who experienced an uncomfortable encounter when a random ‘comedy’ street performer in Melbourne called out to her and told her that her baby was unattractive and that she should hide it. The situation escalated quickly, and he nearly found himself retrieving his guitar from an unpleasant place, and I’m not talking about the Yarra River.